Often times people ask me, "Chris, how can I be as awesome as you?" well Stephanie, it's simple. Step One: Grow a Beard. Most people don't know this, beards are a sign of wisdom, social status and sexual virility (thank you Wikipedia). Facial hair has always been important to me (ever since I could grow it) and it all started when I was an impressionable seventh grader. I saw this eight grader on the track team had sideburns and a small goatee (at the time he looked to me like he was 38), anyways, this girl was stroking his sideburns telling him how sexy they were. It was at that moment that I knew that I must sprout my own pair of sideburns.
By my freshman year I had willed into existence a hefty pair of burns. It made me unique to be the Freshman with sideburns. However, around sophomore year others were growing them, so I rebelled and grew Elvis sideburns (as visible on my myspace). They were cool, but my mom liked them, so naturally they had to go.
I grew a goatee just to see if I could, and I did, I had that my junior year and most of my senior year. However, for Halloween I wanted to be my Creative Writing teacher so I tried really hard to grow a beard, and frankly, it just didn't work. I was trying to hard.
It wasn't until a few months ago, when I was just tired of shaving, that it really came in full. It is definitely my favorite part of my body (next to my sexy physique, chiseled jaw, perfect smile, breathtaking eyes, well sculpted legs, and Rambo-esque back).
The beard is more then hair that just grows on my face, it is a way of life. If more people understood that, then we would be a better place.
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